Personal

Mindset

I would describe it as: the mindset is the way your brain renders situations and the world we perceive and/or believe we live in.

You might wanna get melancholic, so follow the steps on the right side (or scroll down where my picture is if on mobile) where the music player is and have some fun ambiance.

Buckle up for some deep shit. It’s just some thoughts of mine, judge me in the comments. I always have been attracted to types of personalities and psychology in general. I think it’s hot.

Therapy

I’ve seriously been thinking about this normal-people-duh-boy-you-type-shit-just-get-real-help-and-stop-complaining-probably approach. I never got to actually look for someone specialized. I feel like even though I don’t have much to hide nor feel my thought is broken, I’d learn a lot about certain things I may already know. All I’m saying, it would help me nonetheless.

Learning

The way my mind works is hard to explain. I know you can relate, but this is about m- just kidding. There’s these urges at times that I never intended to provoke nor to get myself into specific mental states or thoughts. I lose control of my mind mainly when I get anxious. I almost lose awareness.

Since I don’t go to school since 10th grade, after a couple of years living away from Romania (regular [for me,] environment, mentality, wealth and language), I felt a lot of education missing – estimated from people around me and online. I so decided to work more, not only because making something out of myself in this reincarnation, but also because I wanna gather information and learn more things that interest me and do me good.

I’ve indirectly got close to visiting Reddit pages of people’s experiences with situations, paid indirect attention to their writing, which I suppose made me feel like I was reading books. It felt more fun than reading fictional/auto-biographical books, which I never do, I hate just sitting there and reading.

It’s never enough and I’m not even at the third level of knowledge I’d be pleased living with, I now feel like I wanna study more in each area I’d think of.

Gather

I wanna improve myself in many ways, as a person. I seek and follow people’s minds and try to do not seek too much or too less, to learn more from what I could gather. I am a very judging person, at least at this time. Things stay with me in my own head and I despise that. I always had positive and kind attitudes towards people and always (being anxious), been under a rock, trying my best not to disappoint anybody. I feel I was good and bad at the same time.

Solve

I don’t think that even if I think the way I’m considering things right now, are in the right things for me to evolve into what I want. I have to do some radical changing, concentrate more and show my own brain who’s the boss (yes, you’re allowed to cringe).

My birthday’s tomorrow. It’s my 21st, which means rather a lot. I died about 2 times in the current years of my existence, I’ve tried to ‘reset’ my personality and form some sort of re-establishment of what I am going to do now or whenever I need to do things. It’s childish, but I still feel young and struggling. I’ll let you, the reader, know what I’ll attempt to change this time.

Fuck it. Love it.