Family · Insecurity · Personal · Programming · Project · Security · Workplace

Corona Thingus

Good everything, fellow reader. Thanks for willing to catch up on me, I’ve been (sort of) alright.

I haven’t posted since 20th January of this year, I know… Well, my life’s been up and down ever since the beginning of this year, not including the whole COVID-19 fever, which I get that many other people go through also. That multiplied things for me, and I did not expect to feel the emergency and feel afraid for my life as I started feeling at some point. I am protecting myself, self isolating and so does my boyfriend. We’re so far so good.

What in the fuck

Yeah, I keep asking myself and probably you do too. We didn’t deserve this and this whole thing is way worse than we’d ever anticipate. History’s happening right now and we see people dying at each corner because of an pandemic triggered by one of the most mindless idiots there would be. I don’t fully know the drill, but so nobody knows exactly outside China, there’s been much public misinformation spread and I don’t know what to believe anymore. USA, Austria, Germany were heavily affected in these past few weeks, many lives have been lost but we’re all coping and singing “Imagine” in a celebrity collab video to make sure you see the mansions they consider they’re prisoned in; on a real note though, I am aware that being stuck somewhere, no matter where and how comfortable you are, the freedom of going outside being taken away, is an actually awful feeling – much like imprisonment.

Friends & Discord

I joined Discord communities and connected with them better than I ever thought I would. I made few friends while being on Kitboga‘s Discord server, and I never thought I would embed myself in such a beautiful way, to have a group of friends that show genuine support for the work I am doing and me being there for them, doing my best to be NOT and awkward cunt, is an amazing feeling. Feels like I’ve entered a newer realm and I am learning something new about a side of me I’ve never seen to surface.

I currently have my own Discord server which you can join. The server is dedicated as this website’s server, called Literally Raul’s Blog, which has many categories you can join and have a good chat in. From programming stuff, different branches of development to emotional development and any sort of appealing chit-chat. Join us (, please)!

Development & Coding

It’s still on-going roughly. With the job, Discord server management (I happen to now moderate a few other), I’ve been overfilling my time, which I adore, but it got me exhausted at one or two points. NO complains though, I love getting used to newer types of heavy, because I can adapt and it feels amazing when I am upgrading myself and can handle more than I previously have been.

I’ve worked on Megabot a lot, which brought many accomplishments as I found use for the bots I started creating for the framework. Still lots of fun and exciting things are being developed and in the process.

Job

It’s alright but the company’s only getting fucked now with COVID-19.

New Peak

I’ve experienced 164 BPM / extreme anxiety these few days, never like before. I literally felt my heart was going to stop at some point.